dog bite

My dog died this week, from heart failure. He was a Keeshond, very hairy and funny and sweet. It came on suddenly, he was never sick until two weeks ago, and then he just passed away. I buried him in the meadow behind my house, so he can look at the sky.

Now, I’m wanting to talk about dog behavior and people behavior.

I am becoming a mean dog. I say that with full knowledge that many people think they don’t like mean dogs, and I myself was never fond of them, but in my own transformation into one, I have a new perspective.

Dogs are not born mean. They may have a pre-disposition based on breeding that gives them an easier path to meanness, but they are born, just like people, with potential for anything.

A mean dog is created by systematic abuse, fear, deprivation, purposefully applied confusion, implementation of dependency, isolation from support, and alternating harsh and friendly treatment, resulting in a breakdown of the responses needed for civilized acceptable behavior.

Sounds like torture? Yes, it is torture.

This is the point. In this country, now, we have been tortured, we (the workers, the families, the little guys) have been abused, and it continues. The thing is, the victim of abuse usually has no voice, and little strength to protest, being busy with survival. We have the internet.

If I’ve worked for years with fear of being fired if I countered my boss with an offending opinion, if I’ve lived for years with the confusion perpetrated by the obvious lie in what was stated in the corporate mandates like “Excellence, Integrity, Teamwork”, if I’ve labored under the confused assumption that I was a valuable member, only to be dismissed at the first opportunity to give my job to a stranger who was charging so much less, even if providing less talent, if all around me the system that was so revered is crumbling, then no wonder I am becoming mean.

And, the meaner I get, the less I am employable. So, one suggestion from the devil on my shoulder is to
1. Rent myself out as a guard dog to some criminal who needs protection, in exchange for food & jewels
2. Go on a rampage and grab things I need or want, and
3. Make someone else my victim, just because that’s all I know, and it seems like what those big guys are doing.

People, like dogs, can only stand so much abuse before they crack.

Problem – I cannot just abandon my other self, the one who has hope, the one who is creative, the one who has compassion for those who have less, even though I have little. I remain confused.

If I get logical, then I should look at what is succeeding, and apply those lessons, even if it means becoming some sort of criminal myself. Logical?

I feel like a ping-pong ball with no bounce, only ricochet.